I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
