we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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