im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
