I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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