So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
