she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize