i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
