WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Success! We fucked roommates!
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