It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
