my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
