went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize