ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
