oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Everclear isn't food dammit
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
