hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
