you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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