I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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