He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she woke up with a sticky ear
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
