I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
