did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
