would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
