i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
