I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
