A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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