Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
