Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
