the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
