your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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