He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Randomize
