My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
