I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Randomize
