you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
