party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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