Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize