I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
