IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
