So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
