Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
