I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
