Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
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