So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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