while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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