I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
After tacos, we're chasing women.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize