i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
