Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
