if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
