Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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