My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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