Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
