sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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