Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
