Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
