the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Randomize
