At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
