if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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