Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize