i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
