We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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