Having a random hookup so left but love u
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
