he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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