omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
