I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize
