imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
